Putu India

Translated from Bahasa Indonesia

Introduction

My name is Ibu Chicken. My real name is Putu India. I've been at PKP for 4 years, and I decided to go to PKP because I saw children with special needs. At first I didn't like it, because I felt really disturbed. They like to take all the equipment, make-up, lipstick, it's all taken by them. So I felt disturbed. After that, Ibu Sari came and told me, "The more you hate these children, the worse they become. Imagine being their mother. How would their parents feel? How would the children feel?" From then on, I placed myself in the shoes of their parents. From there, there was tremendous compassion for the children with special needs. Finally, I decided to join PKP because there are so many positive activities here. 

The more you hate these children, the more troubled they become and feel in the end. 

How would you feel if you were their parent or mother?

Happiness

Being able to share, being able to hear their complaints. What is their sadness, what are their problems. Also happy to see the employees here can smile, that's what makes me very happy. Basically, being able to see the children and the people around me smiling.

What is love to you?

Things that we do for other people. Things that make them smile. 

As for feeling love, I have, with my parents, my husband. I love everyone. The employees here, I love them all. Even though they get annoyed sometimes, I love them the most. If you make people smile, you feel proud of yourself. Everyone has their own problems, their own personal things going on. I feel proud that I can make them smile in their pain. The point is, no matter how tough their problems are, they can smile. That means a little less burden for those who have problems. It's nice to see them smile. I have a sense of pride that I can make people, that are feeling down, smile. Even with tears in my own eyes, I can make them smile, to ease their burden. Because I love them, I am proud to be able to get them back on their feet.

Struggle 

Money maybe. In the family, money is the problem. At PKP, it's also money. We all need money to buy land. Besides that, the cost of food, the cost of housing for employees at PKP, everyone must  work really hard, especially in the Corona season at that time, so that everyone  can stay, without anyone being sent home. You need money to pay for food and board. For daily life, everything needs money. 

Besides that, there are also problems in my family. There are a lot of problems that need a lot of money. I want to help those who really need money, but I can't help financially. I can only help by making them smile, even though I can't help in the form of money. If I see that there are people who are really in need, I share too. Even in conditions where income is very difficult. 

Money is a problem because one, like the problem experienced at PKP, we need a place for all of us here. So that we feel comfortable, not worried about this place being taken by others. If PKP's place really belongs to us, there is less of a problem. All we would have to do is work to progress the PKP center with stuff like the products we have or develop other products. We wouldn't have to worry about losing our place. 

Inspiration

My father and my mother. There's another one, my spiritual teacher. He passed away. I suffered during my childhood. I was born in Sulawesi, went to Bali in third grade. Around that time, I was wandering around, Mom was over here, and Sari(Sibling) was taken care of somewhere else. Anyway, I was separated from my siblings, there was no happiness in childhood. I was left somewhere and sent to school. Seeing other people shopping, eating, I couldn't be like them. I remember once I asked a friend for bread, but he didn't give it to me. Maybe it was because I suffered so much that I lost hope. When I was in junior high school, I was taken by my father to a priest, in Bali called Sri Empu. From there the priest said "This is the journey of life, this is a trial, you must be strong." Always advised positive things so that there is no desire to do negative things such as suicide. While Ibu Sari often attempted suicide, I did not. In that case, I always encouraged myself not to do that. "Your descendants will be like this. If you want to get married, don't think about yourself, other people also think about you." 

From there I was guided to pray diligently, to get closer to God. I always suffered, until junior high school it was difficult. This meant that I had to sell food around the neighborhood. If you're a junior high school student, you have to bring clothes, sell rice around, sell fried peanuts to other villages. I did that by myself. When Mom was sick, it was me who had to struggle. Where was my father, where was my mother, and where were my siblings. I had to struggle until junior high school, then I traveled. High school was the same. I actually wanted to go to college, I wanted to study further. But Mom became a maid. 

There were many things that I experienced that might have been quite difficult. But every week or once a month, I'd always come to my spiritual teacher to ask for strength and guidance. "Whatever you encounter, just go with it. This is the cycle of life. Even though you feel like you've never done anything bad, you don't know what you did in your previous life to get this kind of ordeal." said Mom's teacher. I used to blame herself a lot, "I'm already like this, how come I'm still hit by calamity? Why am I the only one who is experiencing this?" That spiritual teacher always strengthens me. And now, Mom and Dad too. Even though Mom is a bit harsh, whatever she tells me is for the good of myself and my family too. For Dad, it's his patience that I follow. He's a very patient person, so much so that I've never been scolded by him. His patience is extraordinary. 

Message to the World

Don't give up. Don't make decisions that are fatal. Just do and live with whatever we encounter in life. It is a trial for one day we will find something better. Don't give up and despair, don't take actions that make ourselves and others experience a very heavy impact on what we do. Love yourself.