Appreciate the moments

How are you today?

“I am fantastic, you’ve caught me on a very good day”

Introduction

“I am Henzo, that’s not my real name but a nickname I got from my best friend about 30 years ago. My real name is Mahmoud Rashid and I am from Egypt but was born in Germany. I was mostly raised in Egypt but in a very German culture at home, capturing the best of both worlds. I also lived in many places in the Middle East and outside the Middle East so it makes the cultural aspect of my background a, sort of, melting pot."

Feed Ubud

"There are so many people out there, different from who you are. I’ve learned so much from them. Every single person has so much to add to you. That interaction and connection with people is a running, continuous stream in my life. When I started traveling, the first thing I thought about was connecting to the locals. Connecting to real deep culture. 

When I came to Bali, about three years ago, during COVID, I met my business partner, Bude. She was starting an initiative to help the people that were impacted immensely by COVID. The basic idea was, “Let’s give them food”, especially the ones living independently from the well supported family structure that Bali has. That was our main focus. Helping the orphans, the seniors that don’t have their family’s support anymore. 

That was the first project we started, but as time passed we realized that wasn’t sustainable enough. If you give someone food, you’ll feed them for a day but if you teach them to grow their own food, they'll become self-sufficient. So, we started providing a space where we taught people farming, cooking and basic skills such as baking. We continued with the theme of “Feed Ubud”. It started, in the beginning, as literal feeding and slowly developed into feeding knowledge or some experience into Ubud. 

Until recently, where we started thinking, “actually, it’s more sustainable to support the youth.” If you focus on teaching the youth you’re, in a sense, passing the ownership of Bali, back to the Balinese. They say that 60-70% of the income generated in Bali goes to non-Balinese individuals. So our mission with Feed Ubud is to return Bali, specifically Ubud, back to the Balinese. We focus on all the villages, from here in Tegalalang, all the way north, to Kintamani and Singaraja. These are the villages we’re helping. Today, we still have the project for the seniors and orphans, the basic Feed Ubud. We’re still supporting the farmers and families by teaching them skills on how to turn their crops into marketable products such as tea or oil, but we are also helping the youth to find opportunities by giving them two basic things, language and exposure. By sending them abroad to places like the UK and Germany, they are able to gain cultural exposure and by creating a community where individuals can communicate in a new language, we are able to provide them with the language aspect. In doing that, we are also able to expose the foreigners, that come to volunteer, to the local Balinese culture and help them further understand the place that they live in. So, that is a brief summary of what we do here at Feed Ubud."

Happiness

"I always say I’m happier in three main situations. One, when I’m in a situation that touches my heart. Where I’m dealing with an individual and find them to be a lot more profound than I had expected. The profoundness and the magic is not only found with individuals who are put under the spotlight, but actually simple individuals who you don’t expect much from. They can surprise you. That makes me super happy when I see that. I love to connect with those people. 

Second, when I see an experience in the eyes of people. For example, a sunset or a sunrise, a moment in nature where everyone realizes, “Wow. We are in front of something different, something that is beyond us and it’s so beautiful.” When I am a part of creating that experience for someone, I am happy. 

Number three, I am happy on my own. When I do the things that I enjoy I am happy. I am happy every day, when I am fulfilled. When I am content. When I don’t need much. Every day, I wake up in the morning, and I pray, because I just want enough. I don’t want a lot. I don’t want anything that is beyond what I need. I just want what I need and I want enough of it, that’s all. I don’t want more money, more food, more houses, more cars, all I need is enough. That what fulfills me to do what I’m supposed to be doing in life. If I keep doing what I’m doing then I am happy. 

I was very young when Steve Jobs said this. It was a very profound phrase, whether you agree with him or not, he said, “If you are filling your days with things you would do on the last day of your life, then you are on to something beautiful but if the answer is no, too many days in a row then you know there is something that you need to change.” It’s okay to do unfulfilling things for a few days, but not for too long. At certain moments it is good to imagine that today would be the last day of your life. Question if what you are doing is fulfilling. If it is, keep doing it. I live by this value every day. I do what makes me better."

Happiest Moment

"I started my business about four years ago, a different business than Feed Ubud, I do adventure travel. In the beginning you doubt yourself, when you do something that is really your own and really authentic, you doubt. You doubt that it might actually reach somewhere. One of my happiest moments was when people actually started following. They do what you like doing, and then you realize, “Wow, this is incredible”. That’s one moment. 

A second moment, was when my mom and I healed our relationship. I had a lot of issues with my parents, throughout my life, but when I was finally mature enough and my mom accepted me for who I am, that was one of the happiest moments of my life. 

A third moment, we were in the north of Bali and we met an individual. He's disabled and living without the support of his family. He’s around my age, around thirty five, but he doesn’t look like it. He looks so young and he’s so in touch with something. He’s so magical. He looks up to the sky and you feel like he has this spiritual side to him. He was living in a very sub-standard house, garbage scattered around, so we thought, “What can we do for him?”. We built up his room, colored it and made it look nice but I always wondered what more we could do with him. One time we took him out. He hadn’t left that village his entire life so we picked him up in a car and drove down to Ubud. He was super excited. We went to one of the resorts around there and I gathered around fifteen people, mainly foreigners, all just celebrating his presence. We cooked food and celebrated with him. At one point I took him, introduced him to the swimming pool and went in together. You can’t even imagine, the energy of that guy! He had that curiosity of a baby, entering the water for the first time. He had that fear but also that excitement. For the rest of the day, he was super happy, he didn’t want to leave. He was hugging us so much. That was one of the happiest moments of my life."

Struggle

"I’m so blessed, thinking of a struggle is tricky. I always say that the ordinary is easy. Some people don’t think so. People think that getting a job, having a corporate life, waking up early every day and doing the same exact job for nine years, is difficult. That was my reality for twelve years of my life. It is somewhat tricky and it has its own difficulties but this is not a difficult life. The difficult life is when you have the real ups and downs. At the downs, you doubt yourself, “Am I doing what I’m supposed to?”. When you’re at a corporate you’re always focused on the next position. Then you get it, you get the higher salary. Everything is very tangible, very measurable. You’re gonna get there. In Simon Sinek terms, it’s a finite game. You get that job, you get that target, you get that KPI, you get that meeting, you get that deal and finish that year. It’s all an ending game and then you start a new one. When you are in an open ended game, an infinite game, you’re helping people but you don’t know if you’re helping enough. 

Some days you don’t have much to do because you helped people yesterday but you don’t necessarily have people to help today. We work from a need perspective so we don’t need to push a project. We wait until the projects come to us and people come because of a need. Then we help them. Then we do the work that we’re supposed to do. Sometimes I doubt myself. Am I spending my time wisely? Am I doing the things I’m supposed to? Sometimes we fail, we fail many times and at those lowest moments its good to ask yourself, “Should I continue doing what I’m doing or should I be doing something different?”. Those rock bottom days, and there aren’t only a few of them, they’re as equal as the high days. I’d say that that’s my main struggle. As for a life struggle, it’s non-existent. I’m super blessed with what I'm doing and the people that surround me."

Legacy

"It’s not an easy question. I always think, when I die, I hope somebody will say, “He added something to my life”. That’s the only thing. If somebody says, “I learned something from him, he impacted my life in a certain way, he gave me something that I cherish or he was kind to me one day”, that’s it. Just one person and that’s enough for me. I don’t need a lot of people, a big legacy or an impact. Just one person that says, “He touched my heart, he walked life differently, with his own values.” That’s it."  

Fear

'I actually don’t fear anything. Fear gets driven a lot by ego. You need to be attached to something to fear losing it. Fear of loss is a big fear. Fear of the unknown is also a big fear. I always look forward to the unknown, to the uncertain, to what I don’t know, what I don’t expect. I wouldn’t say I have one main fear or one main thing I’m scared of but sometimes I find myself being afraid of being alone. Lonely. Where I need something and I don’t have someone to support me but I wouldn’t say it’s a deep fear. It’s just something that crosses my mind on a dull Tuesday evening when I’m sitting alone. I used to fear death. I used to fear losing my parents. I used to fear being alone, away from my brother. I used to fear many things but I went through that and overcame them. I was afraid of failure. I’ve been through that and it’s okay. It’s going to be fine in the end. You reach a certain moment where if you are well balanced on your own and you have your compass to find yourself when you are lost. That’s your support. You don’t need to worry about anything else."

Love

"I live by love. Love for me is equivalent to words like god or divinity. These big words. Love is almost equal to that for me. When I talk about love, I always address what I call the divine love. A realm where you don’t worry about anything. Where you don’t fear anything. Where there is love, there is no fear. Many people define love as the opposite of fear but I think it’s like light and darkness. They are not opposites. They complete each other. You need to go through the fear to actually find love. And when you’ve reached that point of love, it’s not like you’re opposing fear. There’s no place for fear there because you are so happy and it’s beautiful. It’s fulfilling and contemptuous. You are in a place where you have everything you need. Even if you don’t have many material possessions, even if you don’t have plans for your future. When love touches you, you don’t worry about that anymore. You let go. You surrender to love. There’s a big halo that encompasses everything. You can hardly describe it in words, but you feel it in your heart and in your soul." 

Have you ever been in love?

"Many times. The last year, I spent it next to my mom. When you are on good terms with your mom, there are moments that are priceless. Sitting next to someone, who just loves you unconditionally. They’ve given up everything in their lives, for you. Any they don’t expect anything in return. I had many, many moments where I felt that love. 

I felt love in a relationship a couple times. When you are in a place where time and space don’t matter. You feel like time has expanded to a point where each minute is almost infinite but at the same time, days are flying by. When you are with that person, you don’t notice. There’s a moment where your sense of self begins to diminish as you are heading into that divine love and then you’ve lost yourself completely. You as you know yourself, as that flesh, ego and mind, disappears. You are in love. 

I’m super blessed with what I do here at Feed Ubud and Ridge Adventure, my company. I’ll put a lot of effort into a project but don't know the results I’ll get. You’d expect tangible results, a specific amount of people coming to an event you’re hosting, but then comes a moment, where the sun is setting. Everyone you brought into that experience is standing there, just witnessing the sun sinking. And they’re touched, by the beauty of the colors in the sky, that magical moment, that miracle that happens every day. You feel like you and the sun have co-created that moment. You were part of bringing these people in, but you didn’t plan that exact moment. The universe brought everyone to that certain moment and blessed us with its beauty. I always feel so humble at moments like this, when love touches my heart. 

I lived in places where you almost don’t see the sunrises and sunsets and then you realize how impactful that moment is. Just 10 minutes in the morning. I come here in the morning, and the sun comes up through there. I just sit for 20 minutes, I have my ginger tea and just sit right in front of the sun. That makes my day. The days where I can do that, where I can focus, be mindful for those 20 minutes, are completely different to the days when I don’t." 

Kindness

"I’m a big believer in a concept I call “the Blessings of Giving”. I believe kindness is when you do good just for the sake of goodness. Do it because your heart feels like doing good, you’re not expecting anything in return or any results out of your actions, you’re just doing good. This is kindness. That is what I see every day." 

Regret

"My favorite uncle passed away. I was very young and still a little bit naive. I didn’t have the experiences I have now. I wish I spent more time with him. He reached out to me several times and I wish I spent more time with him before losing him. 

My dad has been depressed for almost 10 years, deep depression, and he’s spent three years in bed. There are moments that I wish I’d spent with him, and words I wish I hadn’t said. I’m trying to catch up with it now. I go back and I sit next to him, doing whatever I can to heal that relationship completely."

One piece of advice

"Follow what your intuition knows you should be doing, and follow what you value. Don’t run around the neon lights or the distractions. We all have an inner compass. That is our intuition, our gut feeling and our values. This is your mind talking, your third eye, that tells us every day, what is good for us and what is not. Follow that and nothing else. When you follow that, everything else will come. Goodness will come, kindness will come. When you do that, your heart is open and your mind is open. You do what is good for you, but also what is good for others." 

Inspiration

"Bude. She inspires me so much. She’s not from Bali, she’s originally from Madura, Java. She just wakes up every day, helping. Every day, she’s just helping. For no specific reason. That is an inspiration that I cannot imagine. 

Wayan Wardika, from Taro Village. From a qualification perspective, he’s one of the top ten percent I’ve met in Bali. He is very qualified to do whatever he wants to but he chose to take care of his parents, to be in his village and to do the things that his values align with. He’s like my earlier example, he wakes up in the morning and does what his compass tells him to do. Organic Farming. He’s fighting so hard. Although he’s going through so many challenges, he still rises and does what he’s supposed to be doing, no matter how difficult it gets. He’s extremely aligned with his values. 

A silent inspiration to me, Wayan, from the Ubud pottery area. He’s got pots all over his house. I’ve known this guy for three years. He knows me but not that well and I know him but not that well. I see his work every day and the amount of serious dedication he puts into his work is incredible. Every single pot there was done by him. Imagine. He has thousands of pots there. Seeing him and how he still enjoys what he’s doing decades after he’s started, he does it every single day with so much devotion, so much love and so much mindfulness. Just makes me think there is still a realm in this universe that I haven’t tapped into yet and that I want to reach someday. 

These are the three people that inspire me. Three Indonesians, two Balinese."